Fall Gratitude

 

Today I’m grateful for the fall…  beautiful weather, back to school, bugless, bringing in the harvest, a bevy of birthdays,  blogged by a “Proud Introvert” with little to say today.   

A Little Bit Country

The gratitude I feel for my 14 year old daughter was immediately magnified when I received a text from her on the morning of July 27th, 2013. I was away and she was texting me because she had heard through social media that there had been a car accident that morning killing a group of teenagers. She was told that one of those teenagers was her best friend Naomi.

Avery had been calling and texting Naomi all morning and she wasn’t answering so she texted me in a panic. Trying to calm her, and believing it could never be true I told her “I’ll call her mom and call you back”. And I did call her back… but not to tell her that it was all a mistake and that Naomi was ok, but to tell her that her best friend was dead.

Naomi was a beautiful 13 year old girl, who was well travelled and spoke four different languages. She loved animals and would spend hours building sand castles with all the younger kids at the lake. She was sensitive, polite and respectful and in many ways her and my own daughter were very much alike. This probably explains why they were instant best friends when they met at age 6. I loved that they were such good friends and she loved spending time with our family. When I think about this loss for my daughter at age 14, and the loss for Naomi’s family I can’t even imagine what they are going through. My daughter could have just as easily been in that vehicle. She could have made choices that led her to be in that very vehicle that killed 6 teens and I know that. I am so grateful to have my daughter still with me and so sorrowful that Naomi’s mom does not. Truthfully, this is a gratitude that I feel guilty for feeling. No mother should have to go through what she is going through, and my heart breaks for her every day.

Six teens died that morning. Losing your best friend at age 14 shouldn’t happen to anyone, but it did, and it has affected a lot of kids. I know that this will affect them all for a lifetime. As for Avery, she has been mad, sad and felt guilty probably every day since this happened. She can’t sleep well at night because she is constantly thinking about Naomi. But here is what I want my daughter to know… I wish I could take away this hurt for you. I wish I could bring Naomi back. I am sorry that you are going through this and I know it will hurt for a very long time. But I do know that because of the person that you are, you will find a way to honour Naomi’s memory. That this will somehow empower you, almost like you are taking on the strength of Naomi plus your own to do something extraordinary with your life. That this will strengthen your values in what you believe in and things you stand for, and this is a gift from Naomi. You will never ever forget her and will forever appreciate your memories with her.

I love you Avery, and I am so grateful that you are my daughter. You are a brilliant, beautiful teenager. You are so grown up in many ways, but also still a little girl in many other ways. You are quiet and sensitive one minute, and loud and goofy the next. There is not one thing I would change about you, you are perfectly you and I love you to the moon and back! XO